Catching Up to Writing 101, Day 4: The Serial Killer

Writing 101 Day 4: Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more.  Today’s twist: Make today’s post the first in a three-post series. – The Daily Post

We’ve all suffered losses.  Some more than others and at all various degrees.  Maybe we lost someone: a friend, an acquaintance, a relative, a close family member, a pet. Maybe we lost something: a toy, various electronic devices, glasses, our minds? Whatever it is, thats all a loss.  Sometimes, they are voluntary and most times, they probably aren’t.

However, I choose to talk about a completely different loss, one that is somewhat voluntary. The loss of a friend; a choice to let go of certain friends.  Loss results in some sort of despair or heartache/heartbreak.  Whichever could apply.

As I’ve gotten older year by year, it seems that I’m grasping how to see the people around me clearer.  Maybe its my tolerance of manipulation and guilt decreasing by the day or just not wanting to fake it with people that I don’t fully trust or give some value to my life.  Whatever the reason, in the recent past, I’ve made the decision to let a friendship go.  Its in a rather subtle way since its not that I’m not talking to this person but lets say that I’ve come to realization that I’ve let go of all hope.  This person is toxic and causes me to feel guilt, mastered in the art of manipulation (or maybe I’m just easily influenced..whichever) and just constantly makes me feel like utter crap.  Our friendship has somewhat flickered on and off throughout the last few years and I’ve suddenly realized that as much as we do get along.  The entrance of this particular person has caused me to lose a lot of positive because its not injected with regular doses of negative.

Of course, my friend is not completely to be blamed. I’m a person that gets influenced and cares overly about the people around me.  Its something I’ve been used to ever since I can remember.  I try to please others as much as I can, sometimes even if it means tucking away my own desires and feelings. Its how I was brought up.  As I entered the working environment, I’ve become more able to stand up for myself and say what I want especially with the people in my life.  If they are my friends, I don’t need to hide my true feelings or wear a mask and they will accept me for me.

Thinking back, its funny because I could kind of be myself with this person.  Why did I let this go? Its actually very simple. I just don’t think this is working.  How do you stay friends with someone who you don’t trust?

Goodbye, my friend! You are a loss in my life but one that is very much needed even if it will cause me some guilt. Physically, you may not be completely gone from my life but in my heart, you are.

To be continued in part 2 soon! 🙂

Do you have toxic friends in your life? How do you deal with them?

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2 thoughts on “Catching Up to Writing 101, Day 4: The Serial Killer

  1. I did have REALLY toxic friends in my life, but most of them never stayed for long and I still avoid them like a plague… I totally agree with you that I cannot be friends with someone that I do not trust either… Not anymore ever since I learned to take better care of myself by standing up for myself. 🙂

    Please take good care of yourself~<3

    Like

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